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  • Writer's pictureMollie Maxwell

The prison of self-image




The prison of self-image

Our belief system is formed at the beginning of our lives. “Experts” around us evaluated everything we did as children and we accepted and recorded their opinions as truth. These “experts” were parents, teachers, elders and anyone else who had an opinion. Our abilities were moulded by these beliefs and continued to mould us well into teen years and adulthood in some cases.

However well-meaning these souls were, they were not experts concerning our abilities and they may have added to, or limited our development.

As an adult we operate within our own self-image and comfort zone where we feel safe secure and protected. This can be a negative place where we may not want to stay forever. Many of us stay in the prison of self-image, self-belief and self-talk until we decide to change, then we have the freedom to choose and enjoy empowering beliefs and behaviour.

Staying in the prison of self-image is life a wasp flying into a window pane, performing the same task over and over again, expecting a different result each time.

Our self-image is an accumulation of every attitude and opinion that we have been told about ourselves and this has been reinforced by repetition and eventually it has formed a subconscious picture of our self- image. This is who we believe we are and determines how we respond to life and what we believe we are capable of. Our comfort zone. This is a closed loop of self-image and self-talk and influences how we behave, each one reinforcing the other. The little gremlin that lives inside our head can turn us into a rabbit in the headlights encouraging negative self-thoughts.

It all becomes a reference to pack into our suitcase of belief, which becomes fuller and heavier the more we nurture it. These disabling beliefs can be changed.

If we believe we are too young/old/fat/thin/stupid/lazy to do something it makes us feel helpless, unsure, inadequate and lacking confidence.

However, we can turn this around by changing and repeating the opposite to what we think we are and by using personal words to reinforce positive statement and visualizing ourselves being successful.

Such as: “I feel happy and confident today” “I am great at what I do” “I feel that I can do this”

Instead of saying “ I will try to …..” change it to “ I can …….” Or “ I will…..”

It is incredibly powerful to picture ourselves as being smart, successful, positive, standing tall and confident. And using this positive visualisation often, can drive us towards our goals and ambitions. Just imagine you are going to a job interview and you feel really nervous and inadequate. If you take the time to visualise what it would be like to walk in there feeling positive, dressed the part, speaking confidently and smashing it, you can take the part of this person and it will project the image you desire and make you feel the part.

By repeating positive statements, visualising positive actions it can produce positive thoughts and change the belief system that has been imbedded. Repeating this over and over has a huge influence on thoughts and behaviour and can be considered as investing in ourselves.

Start unpacking that suitcase of negativity with self-affirming talk, stop the old voice of “I can't” in its tracks, show it the door, see and feel the experience of self-belief. Dump the negative by writing down your negative thoughts on a piece of paper and burn it ! This shows you that you have chosen to physically get rid of that negativity .

Coaching closes the gap between thinking about doing and actually doing. Coaching is based on honesty, respect and the coach’s unwavering belief in the client’s unlimited potential. It removes the interference between the client and their resources. Coaching is the catalyst to clarity.

Potential minus interference equals performance . The past need not equate to the future.


Maxwell Coaching is ready to help you turn your negatives into positives by encouraging your inner self to embrace who you are, set goals for change and begin to discover the new empowered, resilient, confident person you want to be.

We listen to where you are now and what you are aiming for, we do not judge you or find fault, we look for the answers that you already have but don't know where to find them.


When you are ready to commit to making changes , get in touch with us at Maxwell Coaching, you have nothing to lose and so much to gain.


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